Bisexual Killjoy

• S3E9: Pride in the Messy Middle

  Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! Here we are at the end of another season, and boy, are our arms tired. We ran the gamut from mental health, from race to economics, spirituality, class, parenthood, and neurodiversity. And by talking about these big topics, we were able to learn more about ourselves and each other. In this episode, we recap the season, meditate on community, and make predictions on Pride. We’re off for the summer but are already planning for season 4. Until we meet again, keep being a Bisexual Killjoy. Stay bisexual, and stay strong.   Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon.  Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Follow us on @bisexualkilljoy on Instagram or email us at [email protected].  Resources Bisexual Killjoy Substack: https://www.bisexualkilljoy.com/ 

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• S3E8: Liminality as Labor: Class and Bi+ Survival with Alicia Ortiz

  Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! What does it mean to survive as a bi+ person in a world structured by class? In one of our most expansive and layered conversations to date, Bailey and Jace are joined by educator, activist, and musician Alicia Ortiz to unpack the taboo of talking about class, especially in queer spaces. Together, we explore how class functions as a sticky object in our lives, how bi+ people uniquely navigate systems of poverty and power, and why the myth of meritocracy doesn’t hold up under scrutiny. From identity politics and the legacy of the Combahee River Collective to Olúfẹ́mi Táíwò’s Elite Capture, we examine how movements are co-opted, how queerness is commodified, and how bi+ people are often excluded from both straight and gay narratives of respectability. We also dig into how upward mobility—whether through the military, education, or sex work—is often pathologized, and why coalition-building is essential for a liberated future. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon.  Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Follow us on @bisexualkilljoy on Instagram or email us at [email protected].  Resources Dalke, Anne. “Classism and the Queer Community.” Serendip Studio, 2013. https://serendipstudio.org/exchange/critical-feminist-studies-2013/ep/web-event-2-classism-and-queer-community  Gaskins, TY. “Black Dandyism Explained—From Its 18th-Century Roots to Modern-Day Expressions.” Vogue. 8 May 2025.  https://www.vogue.com/article/what-is-black-dandyism  Stop Soldier Suicide. “Veteran Suicide Stats.” https://stopsoldiersuicide.org/vet-stats  Táíwò, Olúfẹ́mi O. Elite Capture: How the Powerful Took Over Identity Politics (And Everything Else). Chicago: Haymarket Books. 2022. Where to find Alicia Ortiz Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alicia.vida.ortiz  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alicia_vida_ortiz/ Classes: https://impactboston.org/in-person-classes/

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• S3E7: Too Much & Never Enough: Being a Bi+ Woman

  Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! What does it mean to become a bi+ woman in a world that says you’re either too much or not enough? In this episode, we dive deep into the messiness of womanhood, gender socialization, and bi+ identity. Grounded in Simone de Beauvoir’s iconic quote, “One is not born, but rather becomes, woman,” we unpack the violence of gender norms, internalized misogyny, femmephobia, and the social construction of sex itself. We talk about the personal and political stakes of being bi+ and femme in a world that demands your compliance—and punishes your refusal. From the erasure of bi+ women in relationships to survival strategies shaped by patriarchy, this conversation is a powerful reminder that womanhood isn’t a fixed truth; it’s a battlefield of expectations, agency, and becoming. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon.  Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Follow us on @bisexualkilljoy on Instagram or email us at [email protected].  Resources Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex. Vintage Classics, 2015. Stone, Alison. An Introduction to Feminist Philosophy. Polity Press, 2007. Ward, Jane. The Tragedy of Heterosexuality. NYU Press, 2020.

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• S3E6: Sacred Spaces, Queer Faces with Dr. Samantha Costa

  Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! In this episode, “Sacred Spaces, Queer Faces,” we sit down with Dr. Samantha Costa to explore the fraught and fascinating relationship between bi+ identity and faith. From the lingering trauma of “pray the gay away” ideologies to the quieter pressures to suppress bi+ness in religious spaces, we unpack how bi+ people navigate spiritual lives in the face of erasure and exclusion. Together, we ask: Is it possible to hold onto faith without organized religion? Can bi+ people build spiritual practices that reflect their whole selves? And what might a theology of in-betweenness look like in a world that demands certainty? This conversation honors the sacred in the liminal and invites listeners to imagine new forms of queer belonging, both spiritual and communal. Samantha Costa is a queer non-binary scholar, survivor, and storyteller exploring the sacred in the wake of religious trauma. A professor and social researcher, their work focuses on LGBTQIA+ mental health, gender identity, and spiritual reclamation. Raised Catholic in an Irish-Italian family and later disowned alongside their transgender parent, Dr. Costa, now helps others navigate the long road from exile to integration. They earned their PhD in Philosophy and Religion from CIIS and developed the “Seven Freedom Milestones” to map queer journeys toward spiritual wholeness. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon.  Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Follow us on @bisexualkilljoy on Instagram or email us at [email protected].  Resources Douglas, Ezzy, and Fielder, Bronwyn. “Ritual and liminality: Bisexuality within Christianity and Paganism.” Bisexuality, Religion and Spirituality: Critical Perspectives, eds. Andrew Kam-Tuck Yip and Alex Toft. 2020. Toft, Alex. Negotiating sexuality and spirituality: The lived experiences of bisexual persons.” Bisexuality, Religion and Spirituality: Critical Perspectives, eds. Andrew Kam-Tuck Yip and Alex Toft. 2020. Where to find Samantha Costa Website: https://samcostaspace.wordpress.com/  TikTok: @thespiritualstudent Threads: @the_spiritual_student Bluesky: @spiritualstudent.bsky.social

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• S3E5: Parenting While Bi+ with Ellen Davenport-Pleasance

  Welcome back to Bisexual Killjoy! In this episode, we explore the intersection of bi+ identity and parenting, a topic many of our listeners have been eager for us to dig into. To help us navigate this conversation, Dr. Ellen Davenport-Pleasance, a leading researcher on bi+ parenting and director of the Bisexual Research Group, joins us. Together, we unpack how bi+ parents experience minority stress, family dynamics, and cultural socialization, and why bi+ people are both more likely to be parents and yet remain underrepresented in queer narratives. We also talk about how bi+ parents can foster affirming environments for their kids, the role community plays as a protective factor, and what bi+ parents should keep in mind when building supportive networks. Whether you're a bi+ parent, thinking about parenthood, or just curious about the unique intersections of bi+ identity and family life, this episode is for you. Ellen Davenport-Pleasance is a bisexual researcher who recently finished her PhD at University College London. Her PhD focused on families with bisexual+ mothers, and explored minority stress, mental health, and family functioning, using a mixture of qualitative and quantitative methods. Prior to her PhD, she completed an MPhil in Psychology at the University of Cambridge, during which she conducted a qualitative study of bisexual+ mothers, focusing on how they came out to their children and their queer socialization practices. As well as conducting research, Ellen has taught social science/ psychology at four universities in the UK and is the director of the Bisexual Research Group. Hosted by bi+ academics, writers, and advocates Bailey Merlin and Jace Rios Rivera, Bisexual Killjoy talks all things bisexual (pansexual, omnisexual, plurisexual, and overall bi+ness) because bisexuality isn’t a phase; it’s a phenomenon.  Were you a Bisexual Killjoy this week? We want to hear from you! Follow us on @bisexualkilljoy on Instagram or email us at [email protected].  Resources Davenport-Pleasance, E. (2024). “Bi-Invisibility in Academia; the Intentional and Accidental Erasure of Bi + Parents in Research and Recommendations for Future Research.” Journal of Bisexuality, 24(4), 534–573. https://doi.org/10.1080/15299716.2024.2361340 Davenport-Pleasance, E., & Imrie, S. (2022). “How Do Bi+ Mothers Talk with Their Children about (Their) Bisexuality+?” LGBTQ+ Family: An Interdisciplinary Journal, 18(4), 319–338. https://doi.org/10.1080/27703371.2022.2091073  Irving, A.J., illustrated by Cynthia Alonso. The Bi Book. Random House. 2025. Where to find Ellen Davenport-Pleasance Website: https://www.bisexualresearch.com/ IG: @bisexualresearch

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