Money For Couples with Ramit Sethi

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich speaks with Shelby and Calvin, 31 and 43, who have a new baby and feel trapped by their financial situation. Together they earn about $102,000 a year, but they have just $3,500 in savings, more than $20,000 in debt, and $0 currently going toward savings or investments.

Shelby wants more structure and transparency, while Calvin admits that talking about money makes him uncomfortable. Their relationship has also been strained by financial secrecy, including a personal loan Shelby believed had already been paid off.

Once their baby expenses are fully accounted for, their fixed costs rise to 89%. Ramit pushes them to stop relying on vague plans and small cuts and instead make bigger changes to how they manage money together. By the end of the conversation, they have a plan to reduce expenses, aggressively pay down debt, save automatically, and become more active financial partners.

In this episode, we uncover:

Why Calvin kept a personal loan secret

Why Shelby does not fully trust him

How they earn about $102,000 but still struggle

Why their fixed costs reach 89%

Why $0 currently goes toward savings

Why Calvin says he has been in debt his whole life

How he quietly sabotaged their money meetings

How their childhoods shaped opposite money habits

Why Shelby takes on more financial responsibility

Why cutting small expenses isn’t enough

How Calvin confronts the impact of his financial decisions

How they could pay off their debt in around 11 months

How they begin saving automatically

Whether they can follow through on the plan

Chapters

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:03:01) Shelby discovers Calvin’s hidden debt

(00:04:55) Why Calvin kept the loan secret

(00:05:52) One layoff away from needing help

(00:08:28) Calvin wants Shelby to manage the money

(00:12:48) Shelby admits she does not fully trust Calvin

(00:21:14) Ramit reviews their financial numbers

(00:23:59) Calvin has been in debt his whole life

(00:24:42) They earn more than $102,000 a year

(00:27:36) Their fixed costs reveal the real problem

(00:35:39) Calvin admits sabotaging their money meetings

(00:38:08) Their fixed costs reach 89%

(00:44:58) How Calvin grew up around money

(00:50:10) Shelby’s childhood experience with scarcity

(00:59:05) Rebuilding financial trust

(01:03:03) Ramit rebuilds their Conscious Spending Plan

(01:09:17) Creating a bigger financial vision

(01:21:07) Redirecting spending toward debt

(01:27:38) Calvin confronts his financial decisions

(01:54:14) Shelby and Calvin’s follow-up

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Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

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Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich speaks with Mary and Harry, 57 and 62, who are approaching retirement while spending more than they earn every month. They have a blended family of seven adult children and continue stepping in whenever one of them needs money, housing support, childcare, repairs, or help managing another crisis.

Mary handles nearly all of their finances and feels overwhelmed almost every day. Harry’s income is inconsistent, and about a year ago, he revealed that he had accumulated $43,000 in credit card debt without telling her. Mary initially feared he was about to confess to an affair. Instead, she discovered that decisions she had been making were based on an incomplete picture of their finances.

Today, they have approximately $476,000 in assets, $499,000 invested, just $3,000 in savings, and $435,000 in debt. Their net worth is around $542,000, but their fixed costs have reached an unsustainable 139%. With retirement approaching, Ramit makes it clear that small cuts will not be enough. Harry needs to substantially increase his income, they may need to sell their home and rent, and both of them must stop treating their adult children as financially dependent.

In this episode, we uncover:

Why Mary thought Harry was confessing to an affair

How Harry accumulated $43,000 in secret debt

Why their fixed costs reached an alarming 139%

How they spend more than they earn every month

Why they have only $3,009 available in savings

Their $476,000 in assets and $435,000 in debt

Why Mary thinks about money almost every day

How supporting their adult children created more debt

Why they gave one child between $20,000 and $30,000

How financial secrecy damaged Mary’s trust in Harry

Why Mary became solely responsible for their finances

How guilt prevents them from saying no to their children

Why Mary continues covering some expenses for her adult son

The text Mary sends removing him from their phone plan

Why Harry needs to increase his income to $5,000 monthly

How renting could reduce their fixed costs to around 59%

Why selling their house feels like failure to Mary

How renting could free up more than $2,000 each month

Why boundaries could make their adult children stronger

Whether they can transform their finances before retirement

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction
(00:02:38) Adult children, broken trust, and income imbalance
(00:05:16) Harry reveals his hidden credit card debt
(00:06:50) Mary fears Harry is about to confess to an affair
(00:08:44) Their blended family of seven adult children
(00:11:19) Rebuilding trust after financial secrecy
(00:18:07) Why Mary manages the finances alone
(00:24:21) Mary fears carrying a mortgage into her 80s
(00:28:04) What happens if nothing changes?
(00:32:20) Would they fund another family emergency?
(00:35:53) How Mary inherited her beliefs about money
(00:52:03) Their retirement savings and pensions
(00:59:39) The true cost of rescuing their adult children
(01:16:23) Ramit reviews their Conscious Spending Plan
(01:18:27) Their fixed costs reach 139%
(01:22:32) Mary texts her son
(01:26:59) Cutting groceries, clothes, and subscriptions
(01:29:00) Harry must dramatically increase his income
(01:32:25) Should they sell their house and rent?
(01:54:48) Mary and Harry’s follow-up

This episode is brought to you by:

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If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K.

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich speaks with Nicole and Drew, 39 and 40, who are expecting their first child in just two weeks. They split their time between Southern California and Maui, where they each own a home. Nicole bought her house after Drew made it clear that continuing to stay with roommates was not an option.

Today, they earn $296,700 a year, own $1.25 million in assets, and have a net worth of more than $500,000. But their two homes consume over 40% of their income, and once their numbers are corrected, their fixed costs rise to 85%. Despite their high income, they feel unable to eat out, attend concerts, or enjoy the life they have worked to build.

Nicole is a psychology professor who plans everything down to the dollar and worries about having enough savings. Drew is a life coach and therapist-in-training who admits that she often goes by “vibes” and trusts that things will work out. With a baby arriving and their savings falling, they must decide whether Drew can realistically double her income or whether they need to sell the Maui house.

In this episode, we uncover:

• Why Nicole bought a house within months of Drew’s housing non-negotiable

• How they ended up supporting two homes in two different states

• Why earning nearly $297,000 still leaves them feeling financially trapped

• Their $1.25 million in assets and nearly $1 million of debt

• Why their fixed costs jumped from 77% to 85%

• How their two homes consume more than 40% of their income

• Nicole’s numbers-first approach and Drew’s habit of going by “vibes”

• How grad school, flooding, and a $29,000 sewer repair drained their savings

• Why the baby may not increase their expenses as much as expected• How Nicole’s sabbatical gives them a temporary financial window

• Why their Maui house is co-owned without a clear written agreement

• Whether Drew can realistically double her income after graduating

• Why depending on one future income increase is a major financial risk• How selling the Maui house could release around $150,000

• Why selling could reduce their fixed costs to approximately 65%

• How they could keep Maui in their lives without owning property there

• How they can build a plan that does not require everything to go perfectly

• Why “spaciousness” becomes the center of their new Rich Life vision

• The decision Ramit believes they need to make before their savings fall further

Chapters

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:03:09) Two homes in two different states

(00:07:03) Nicole kept her housing costs at just 12%

(00:08:18) Drew’s housing non-negotiable changed everything

(00:14:43) Nicole tracks the numbers, Drew goes by “vibes”

(00:21:26) What does their Rich Life actually look like?

(00:24:47) Ramit reviews their Conscious Spending Plan

(00:25:53) $1.25 million in assets and $986,000 of debt

(00:28:15) They earn $296,700 but still feel squeezed

(00:29:46) Their fixed costs are higher than they realised

(00:32:50) Two homes consume 40.5% of their income

(00:34:50) Grad school, flooding, and expensive home repairs

(00:40:16) Their real fixed costs jump to 85%

(00:45:19) Can they afford their new baby?

(01:06:01) Drew’s “life will provide” money mindset

(01:12:00) Are they actually on track for retirement?

(01:24:39) Ramit reveals their retirement projections

(01:33:19) Selling could reduce their fixed costs to 65%

(01:50:07) Redefining their Rich Life around “spaciousness”

(01:53:04) Ramit’s final assessment

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If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K.

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

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Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich speaks with Sana and Arhem, both 27 and newly married. One month before their wedding, Arhem revealed that he had hidden $30,000 of credit card debt. After they both lost their jobs, Sana discovered that he had fallen even further into debt without telling her.

Today, they earn $188,000 a year and have created an aggressive plan to tackle their $165,000 of total debt. But while their numbers are improving, the betrayal has fundamentally changed their relationship. Sana has become the financial orchestrator, while Arhem feels like a student trying to prove that he can be trusted again.

In this episode we uncover:

• Why Arhem hid $30,000 of credit card debt before their wedding • How Sana discovered that the debt had grown again

• Why the financial betrayal nearly ended their relationship

• How they are rebuilding trust after years of secrecy

• Their professor-and-student dynamic with money

• Why Sana feels responsible for supporting her entire family

• How cultural expectations shape her financial decisions

• Their $188,000 income and $165,000 of total debt

• Why their highly organized financial system still feels joyless

• How Arhem accumulated his credit card debt

• Why earning more money will not stop Sana from worrying

• The danger of postponing happiness until they are debt-free

• Why their debt payoff plan may be too aggressive

• The connection between joint finances and rebuilding trust

• Why Ramit recommends couples therapy

• How they can start prioritizing their marriage • The changes Sana and Arhem made after the conversation

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction
(00:03:09) Arhem hid $30,000 of debt before their wedding
(00:08:06) “If things don’t change, the relationship is done”
(00:12:40) Can Sana ever completely trust Arhem again?
(00:15:26) Their professor-and-student money dynamic
(00:17:35) Why Sana feels responsible for supporting her family
(00:28:18) Their $165,000 debt and negative net worth
(00:30:27) They earn $188,000—but live like they’re struggling
(00:35:12) “When do I actually get to enjoy my life?”
(00:46:26) Sana’s childhood money rules
(00:56:26) How Arhem accumulated his credit card debt
(01:04:02) What does their Rich Life actually look like?
(01:09:14) Why their relationship keeps coming second
(01:17:53) Ramit reviews their aggressive debt payoff plan
(01:21:46) Why they need to start spending on joy now
(01:29:47) Joint finances, trust, and couples therapy
(01:36:35) Putting their marriage ahead of everyone else
(01:47:33) Sana and Arhem’s biggest realizations
(01:55:02) Six weeks later: what changed?

This episode is brought to you by:

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If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K.

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply

Ramit Sethi of I Will Teach You To Be Rich talks to Mia and Jake, a couple in their late 30s and early 40s in a blended family with three children. Mia wrote in because she’s afraid paying for their children’s college will cause resentment in their relationship. With no idea how much they are spending, why, or what they truly want their money to do for them, Ramit helps them uncover the root of their money woes. Will they finally get on the same page, create a financial system that works, and feel confident making money decisions together?

In this episode we uncover:

• How financial discussions lead to frustration and anxiety

• The surprising cost of their previous “dream” home

• Why they sold their house and downsized

• The connection between “feeling” and making financial decisions

• How money scarcity is fueling guilt and fear

• Why Jake doesn’t understand how to make his money work for him

• A deep dive into Mia's family money rules

• Why Jake was afraid to talk about money

• How their pension influences their financial outlook

• The hidden costs of everyday living

• Why just “cutting costs” isn’t a long-term solution

• The powerful connection between clarity and confidence

Chapters:

(00:00:00) Introduction

(00:02:54) “I feel resentment from my husband because our money supports my kids”

(00:08:00) Mia and Jake’s money conversations

(00:10:28) Mia and Jake bought a huge house they couldn’t afford (00:13:38) Moving on from the house-broke mistake

(00:23:23) Mia’s old budget felt like “paper pushing”

(00:38:43) Why does Mia feel scared about money?

(00:41:39) Adjusting their fixed costs

(00:48:43) Why cutting costs is easy for Mia and Jake

(00:50:33) Their pension: a financial safety net

(01:03:03) Trading anxiety for guilt

(01:06:35) Jake’s money messages

(01:07:54) What is your rich life vision?

(01:13:40) Mia and Jake’s money system

(01:25:10) Building Jake’s confidence with money

(01:32:20) How Mia and Jake feel about their money now

(01:35:22) Mia and Jake’s next steps

This episode is brought to you by:

Leesa | Go to https://leesa.com for 25% off mattresses PLUS get an extra $50 off with promo code RAMIT, exclusive for my listeners

Trust & Will | Protect what matters most in minutes at https://trustandwill.com/ramit and get 20% off

Gelt | Gelt is taking on new clients now. Find out if you qualify at https://joingelt.com/ramit

Facet | As of the date of this recording, Facet is waiving the enrollment fee for new annual members, and for my audience, Facet is offering $300 into your brokerage account if you invest and maintain $5,000 within your first 90 days. Head to facet.com/ramit to learn more about which membership option is best for you. Offer has been extended to 12/31/2026. #FacetAd

If you’re part of a small group listening to this podcast that is willing to take action, I built Road to $100K for you - a step-by-step program on how to reach $100K. Join Rich Life: Road to $100K at iwt.com/100K.

Connect with Ramit

• Get my new book, Money For Couples

• Join my Rich Life: Road to $100K program

• Download the Conscious Spending Plan

• Listen to my book—now on Audible

• Get my New York Times best-selling book

• Get my no-numbers journal

• Other episodes

• Instagram

• Twitter

• YouTube

Apply to be coached for free on this podcast at https://iwt.com/apply