Adulting with Autism

Raymond Lavine joins Adulting With Autism to talk about a topic most people avoid until it becomes a crisis: caregiving and long-term care planning—and why "I'm too young to think about that" is exactly how chaos happens later.
Raymond grew up in Hollywood, California, and spent most of his career in financial services (commercial banking, mortgage banking, insurance). For the past 15+ years, his work has focused on long-term care benefits—what they are, what they aren't, and how to think about them as part of real-life adulthood (not just "nursing homes").
In this conversation, Raymond reframes long-term care as something much broader than many people assume. Caregiving, he explains, is any time one person helps another with daily life—whether that's after an accident, during illness, with cognitive changes, or temporary mobility issues. And crucially: you don't have to be elderly to need caregiving.
Raymond also shares personal stories that make the stakes real: experiencing an unexpected heart attack and the difference preparation can make, plus what it looked like to plan ahead for his wife's knee replacement and hiring a caregiver for the first time. He's candid about his own strengths and limitations—why he's "not caregiving material," why he's "not patient material," and how self-awareness can actually improve outcomes when a family is under pressure.
For neurodivergent adults (and anyone with executive-function challenges), this episode is especially practical: Raymond walks through what information you should have ready (medications, providers, insurance details), why systems beat memory in emergencies, and how a little organization can reduce overwhelm when health situations move fast.
In this episode, you'll hear:
What "caregiving" really means (and why it's bigger than nursing homes)
Why young adults should care: care needs can happen at any age
The difference between planned vs. unexpected health events (knee surgery vs. heart attack)
What happens when there's no plan: chaos, stress, time pressure, and avoidable mistakes
Practical readiness: keeping your med list, providers, and insurance info accessible
Executive-function friendly systems (digital notes, printed summaries, repeatable routines)
Why long-term care plans exist: paying for help at home or in a care setting
Reality check on employer benefits (and what questions to ask at work)
How to communicate with care teams and caregivers with respect (they aren't "the help")
Staying independent longer by using support strategically
Guest: Raymond Lavine
Raymond Lavine is a long-term care benefits advisor with a background in financial services. He helps individuals and organizations understand caregiving risk, cost planning, and long-term care options—so families aren't forced to figure everything out in the middle of an emergency.
Where to find Raymond
Raymond shares resources and contact info on his website: www.lavineltcins.com

Nicholas Kelly, MS, RD, LD joins Adulting With Autism for a powerful, practical conversation about chronic illness, resilience, executive function, and redefining success one day at a time.
Diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis at just three months old, Nicholas brings a rare dual perspective to this episode: he's both a registered dietitian and a lifelong patient. He shares what it's really like to build a meaningful life while managing a condition that demands constant planning, medication, and energy budgeting—and how those skills overlap with what many neurodivergent adults are already doing to navigate daily life.
Nicholas has lived through high-stakes medical moments—multiple emergency surgeries, severe hospitalizations, and years of time spent admitted—yet he's also built a life that's intentionally expansive: clinician, speaker, poet, dancer, artist, educator, and advocate. In this episode, he breaks down how he turns "big concepts" like resilience, psychological safety, and confidence into steps you can actually use, especially when your bandwidth is limited.
We also talk about the difference between motivation and systems, why "well-meaning advice" often misses the point when you're dealing with complex health realities, and how to define success without toxic productivity—especially during flare-ups, burnout, or major life disruptions.
Through his work with Define Your Success LLC, Nicholas creates workshops for adults and young people (including neurodivergent audiences) focused on practical tools, self-expression, and advocacy. He's delivered 85+ speeches, completed a TEDx talk, appeared on local and national TV, and has spoken directly to the FDA as a patient advocate—always with the same goal: help people live bigger than their circumstances, without pretending the hard parts don't exist.
In this episode, you'll hear:
Living at the intersection of chronic illness + adulthood + identity
What a "dual lens" looks like as a dietitian who's also a lifelong patient
Nutrition as support (not perfection): practical approaches for low-energy days
Executive-function strategies for managing meds, appointments, and daily planning
Redefining success: measuring progress day by day when life is unpredictable
Psychological safety + real support vs. "helpful" advice that doesn't fit reality
Advocacy skills: how to speak up in healthcare settings and be taken seriously
Creativity as regulation and resilience (poetry, dance, art) when life is heavy
"Multiple passions" and the patience it takes to actually build skill over time
Holding grief and hope together after loss within chronic illness communities
Guest: Nicholas Kelly, MS, RD, LD
Nicholas Kelly is a Registered Dietitian, public speaker, and cystic fibrosis advocate. Diagnosed in infancy, he combines clinical training with lived experience to teach practical tools for resilience, self-advocacy, and daily-life systems. He also creates workshops through Define Your Success LLC.
Where to find Nicholas
Workshops and speaking through Define Your Success LLC
Nicholas is also known for his advocacy work and public speaking (TEDx, media features, FDA patient advocacy)

Why do so many people with ADHD (and other neurodivergent traits) struggle to follow through—even when they have great ideas?
In this episode of Adulting with Autism, I sit down with executive coach and author Adam Tilove, creator of Neurodiscipline and the book Split Second: Stop Stalling and Start Doing. Adam shares powerful, real-world strategies to close the gap between ideas and execution—without relying on motivation alone.
We dive into the hidden mechanics behind procrastination, including emotional "off-ramps," perfectionism, and the shame cycle that keeps so many neurodivergent adults stuck. Adam explains how ADHD brains process dopamine differently, why "starting ugly" is the key to momentum, and how small wins can completely transform your productivity and self-esteem.
If you've ever felt like you're living in a "graveyard of unfinished projects," this episode will give you practical tools to finally move forward.
In this episode, you'll learn:
p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why motivation isn't the problem—it's your system

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The concept of "recoil" and emotional off-ramps

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How perfectionism blocks execution (and how to beat it)

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> What "starting ugly" actually means and why it works

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> The power of small wins and momentum

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> Why sleep is critical for ADHD focus and discipline

p]:pt-0 [&>p]:mb-2 [&>p]:my-0"> How to shift from "What's wrong with me?" to "What's wrong with my system?"

Whether you're navigating ADHD, autism, or executive functioning challenges, this conversation will help you take action—imperfectly, but consistently.
Listen now and take your first step toward follow-through.

Dr. Amanda Wilson, DDS, MDS joins Adulting With Autism as a newly diagnosed AuDHD orthodontist, educator, and founder of StraightSmile Solutions®—and she's here to make orthodontics, leadership, and neurodivergence actually interesting.
Amanda isn't a "traditional" orthodontist. After 10 years in private practice in the San Francisco Bay Area, she built a consulting and education company that supports general and pediatric dentists with orthodontic systems, vendors, and procedures—anchored in her core values: airway-focused orthodontics (AirwayDontics™), non-extraction, non-surgical, and early orthodontic treatment (My Phase 1 Smile™).
In this episode, Amanda shares how her neurodivergent traits—especially spatial and pattern recognition—help her quickly analyze malocclusion and create clear frameworks for clinicians. That same focus helped her build a massive 3,000-video educational repository, designed to make high-quality orthodontic training more accessible, more consistent, and more practical for primary-care dentistry.
We also talk about the real life behind the résumé: the decision to design work around values and family, what it's like navigating high-performance environments, and why flexibility matters when you're raising elite competitive swimmers. Now based in Honolulu, Amanda explains how the coaching model supports her "ohana" and allows her to travel and show up for her kids while still building something meaningful.
You'll also hear Amanda speak openly about being a disciple of Jesus while consulting across faiths and backgrounds—plus what it's like to step into entrepreneurship with a late diagnosis and realize your "quirks" might actually be strengths when you build the right systems around them.
In this episode, you'll hear:
What it's like being newly diagnosed AuDHD in a high-skill medical profession
How neurodivergent strengths (pattern/spatial recognition) can show up in orthodontics
Why Amanda founded StraightSmile Solutions® after seeing a gap in quality ortho education
Her approach to airway-focused, early orthodontic treatment (and why she's passionate about it)
Building an education platform: how she created a 3,000-video repository
Consulting for general + pediatric dentists: systems, vendors, workflows, and outcomes
Values-based entrepreneurship: flexibility, family life, and building a business that fits
Supporting elite youth athletics and creating a life that keeps the family together
Faith, leadership, and working with people across different beliefs and values
How to make professional growth more accessible without losing clinical integrity
Guest: Dr. Amanda Wilson, DDS, MDS
Dr. Amanda Wilson is an orthodontist, consultant, and founder of StraightSmile Solutions®. She supports dentists with orthodontic education and implementation and is known for an airway-focused, early-treatment approach and a high-output educational library.
Where to follow / work with Amanda
StraightSmile Solutions® (orthodontic consulting + education)
She offers a free, non-clinical consultation for dentists interested in learning/adding ortho

Actor, writer, and independent filmmaker Steven Martini joins Adulting With Autism for an honest conversation about identity, creativity, neurodivergence, and staying grounded in an industry that doesn't always respect limits.
Many listeners first recognize Steven as Cadet Alex Stone from the 90s cult-classic comedy Major Payne—and in this episode, he shares what it's like to have that role take on a second life decades later through streaming, generational rewatching, and social media. Steven talks about how the film didn't explode at the box office when it first released, but built a long-lasting legacy as fans introduced it to their kids (and even grandkids).
The conversation then shifts into Steven's work behind the scenes: how early experiences in TV and the unpredictable realities of Hollywood pushed him toward writing and making his own projects, including his indie film Smiling Fish & Goat on Fire, and eventually his more recent film Bittersweet—a story inspired by his adult discovery of neurodivergence/autism in his family, and the ways that understanding changed communication, relationships, and self-compassion.
Steven also shares what it's like realizing you experience life differently than "neurotypical" expectations, and how that can show up in everyday patterns, focus, overwhelm, and the "turtle shell" moments where retreat feels safer. He speaks candidly about the creative advantages of being able to lock in on a story like a puzzle—and the personal work of protecting energy and mental health amid deadlines, pressure, and (in his words) the need for a strong "BS detector" in entertainment.
Throughout the episode, humor comes up as a real tool—not just for entertainment, but as a way to release energy, cope, and make difficult stories feel human. Steven reflects on working alongside Damon Wayans on Major Payne, and how that experience shaped his relationship with comedy and storytelling.
They wrap with practical reflections on getting unstuck when you're living in a "script" that no longer fits (job, expectations, boundaries), what Steven wants his younger self to remember, and how he defines adulting with neurodivergence today: more patience, more space, and less anxiety about forcing a fit.
In this episode, you'll hear:
Steven Martini's experience being recognized decades later for Major Payne
How cult classics grow over time through streaming + generations of fans
The behind-the-scenes reality of acting/TV and why Steven shifted into writing/indie filmmaking
Creating films with family/friends and why that matters to him creatively
Bittersweet and how discovering neurodivergence as an adult influenced the story
Identity shifts: accepting patterns without wanting to be "boxed in"
Protecting energy and mental health in a high-pressure creative industry
Humor as coping, connection, and "energy release"
Feeling stuck in the wrong "script": anger, boundaries, honesty, and small steps forward
What Steven is excited to write next (including ideas around Alex Stone's future)
Steven's definition of adulting with neurodivergence: patience + making room for yourself
Guest: Steven Martini
Steven Martini is an actor, writer, and independent filmmaker. He played Cadet Alex Stone in Major Payne and later developed projects through his work in screenwriting and independent film.
Where to follow / watch Steven's work
Bittersweet: available on platforms Steven mentions including Prime Video, Apple, and Tubi (availability can change by region/time)
Follow Steven on social platforms (he mentions rebuilding on TikTok and also being on Instagram/X)