Adulting with Autism

Intimacy isn't just sex—and for a lot of autistic and ADHD adults, dating can feel like a confusing set of unspoken rules that nobody will explain.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, host April sits down with Mandy Hart, a Certified Sexologist and founder of Hart's Desire—Intimacy and Relationship Coaching, for a candid, compassionate conversation about shame, consent, boundaries, and connection.
Mandy blends behavioral science, public health, and trauma-empowered somatic coaching to help people reconnect with their bodies, build confidence, and create authentic intimacy on their own terms—whether that's with a partner, multiple partners, or solo. We talk about what it means to feel safe in your body, how to communicate needs and boundaries, how to discuss STIs without panic or shame, and how consent can be sexy, clear, and ongoing (not a checklist).
In this episode, we cover:
Intimacy vs. sex: expanding what "connection" can mean
Shame and self-worth: how it shows up in dating and relationships
"Safety in your body" and nervous system regulation
Consent skills: how to ask, how to check in, and how to make it hot (not awkward)
Neurodivergent dating: navigating cues, boundaries, and communication
Asexuality, sensory needs, and relationships without partner sex
STI disclosure and sexual health conversations with compassion
Connect with Mandy Hart:
Website: https://harts-desire.com/ 
Email: [email protected]
Book a free discovery call via the site
Blog: Embodying Hart's Desire

What happens to your children, your home, your photos, and your money if something happens to you—tomorrow?
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, we sit down with Attorney M. Cecilia Amo, founder of AMO LAW Legacy Planning (Costa Mesa, California), to talk about estate planning for real life—not just paperwork that sits in a drawer. Cecilia breaks down the difference between a will and a trust, why probate can be expensive and stressful, and how to build a plan that keeps your loved ones out of court and out of conflict.
We also dig into why estate planning matters for families navigating autism, ADHD, disability, and government benefits, including how an inheritance can accidentally disrupt benefits if planning isn't done correctly—and what tools (like special needs planning) may help protect long-term stability.
Cecilia is also the author of Your After-Credits Scene: A Nerd's Guide to Wills, Trusts & Legacy, where she teaches estate planning using pop culture references (think Star Wars, Harry Potter, Marvel) to make it actually understandable.
In this episode, we cover:
Estate planning myths: it's not just for the wealthy or elderly
Will vs. trust: what each does (and doesn't do)
Why probate is the government's "default" plan
What happens if you're incapacitated without a power of attorney
Kids protection planning and choosing guardians
Why digital assets (photos, accounts) need planning too
How to find an estate planning attorney who isn't just selling templates
Learn more / Connect:
AMO LAW: https://amo-law.com/
Book info: https://amo-law.com/aftercredits

Are you exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone—and still feeling like it's not enough?
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, host April talks with Ruth Hirshberg, former social worker and creator of Grounding with Ruth, about the real root cause behind chronic burnout and people-pleasing: core beliefs about worth.
Ruth shares how a Crohn's disease diagnosis forced her to face the truth she'd been avoiding—you can't perform your way to peace. Together, we unpack why "just set boundaries" and "just do self-care" often fails, especially for high achievers, perfectionists, and neurodivergent adults who learned early that being useful was the safest way to belong.
Ruth brings an honest, no-fluff approach—calling out toxic positivity and wellness-industry nonsense—and offers practical tools rooted in social work, breathwork, and meditation to build internal safety and sustainable self-worth.
In this episode, we cover:
What people-pleasing actually is (and why it's not just "being nice")
Why boundaries don't stick if you don't believe you're allowed to have needs
The hidden beliefs that keep high-achievers trapped in burnout
Self-worth vs. productivity: separating value from output
Nervous system regulation that doesn't cost money (breathwork you can do anywhere)
Meditation for exhausted or traumatized people (starting small, safely, and realistically)
Toxic positivity and why "good vibes only" makes healing harder
Community as a tool for healing shame and isolation
Connect with Ruth Hirshberg:
Website: https://groundingwithruth.com
Instagram/Facebook: @groundingwithruth
Facebook Group: The Enough Project
Podcast: Inspired Questions (interviews + guided meditations)

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April is joined by Helene Zupanc and Beth Valdez—licensed professional counselors in Arizona with 25+ years of combined experience—about how to interrupt negative thought loops using simple, personalized mantras that actually feel authentic.
Helene and Beth are the co-authors of Sticky Note Mantras: The Art and Science of Choosing Your Thoughts, a practical mental health toolkit built from real therapy sessions: the "one thing" clients needed to remember after they walked out the door. We talk about why the brain gets stuck in repetitive patterns like "I'm not good enough," "I'm not loved," or "I can't," and how the survival brain (including the amygdala) can send false alarms based on old experiences.
This conversation includes:
How to create mantras that work for autistic and neurodivergent adults (without toxic positivity)
Why repetition builds new neural pathways—and what consistency realistically looks like
Tools for regulation beyond talk therapy: somatic yoga, sound therapy, and "bottoms‑up" nervous system support
How to "catch it, check it, change it" when the spiral starts
Self-compassion prompts that don't feel fake—and how gratitude can shift internal dialogue
Practical mantra examples like "That's just a brain glitch," "People will people," and "Just don't stand still."
If you want mental health strategies that are simple, research-informed, and usable on hard days—this episode delivers.
Guests: Helene Zupanc, LPC + Beth Valdez, LPC
Book: Sticky Note Mantras: The Art and Science of Choosing Your Thoughts
Website: https://stickynotemantras.com
Therapy (AZ Telehealth): Available via their website
Topics: autism and adulting, neurodivergent mental health, anxiety, OCD, ADHD, trauma, rumination, self-compassion, gratitude practice, mantras, nervous system regulation, somatic tools.

In this episode of Adulting With Autism, April talks with Princess Merrilee—Ambassador of Love, minister, existential philosopher (Ph.D.), mentor, speaker, and award‑winning international bestselling author—about what it actually means to live by love in a world that constantly triggers fear, distrust, and overwhelm.
Princess Merrilee shares the pivotal moment that shifted her life: during a painful divorce with four kids, bills stacked on the desk, and life feeling like too much—she opened her Bible and felt a clear message: "All you have to do is love." From that promise, she built a practical framework for how love shows up in daily life through communication, patience, diplomacy, and self‑mastery—especially when your nervous system wants to react first and think later.
This conversation explores why so many autistic and neurodivergent adults feel disconnected, how trust breaks through "authentic" but painful communication, and why internal safety starts with learning to pause before spiraling into worst‑case scenarios. We also discuss her concept of "The Game"—a rules‑based way to simplify the complexity of love, identify untrustworthy patterns, and stop self‑sacrificing in relationships that repeatedly cause harm.
If you've been struggling with masking, anxiety, conflict, belonging, or purpose—this episode offers a different lens: love as a practice, love as a discipline, and love as the foundation for a calmer, more connected adult life.
Guest: Princess Merrilee
Website: https://merrileeofsalana.com
Facebook: Princess Merrilee (search by name)
Book: The Game (available by request via email through her website)
Topics: autism and adulting, neurodivergent communication, emotional regulation, anxiety and overwhelm, relationships and trust, self‑forgiveness, self‑worth, purpose, spirituality and mental health, belonging.