Adulting with Autism

What does "adulting with autism" look like when you stop performing for everyone else?
In this episode, I'm joined by Lawrence C. Harris—a public speaker who helps teens and young adults build confidence, self-belief, and decision-making skills for school and life after graduation.
Lawrence opens up about growing up with hyperverbal autism, having a nonverbal autistic sibling, and how experiences like bullying and an abusive household shaped the beliefs he had to unlearn. We also get real about work environments that can be brutal on the nervous system—like fast food sensory overload and door-to-door sales masking—and what those experiences taught him about self-worth.
You'll hear practical, low-cost tools you can start using today, including:
how journaling helps when your thoughts are spiraling
what to do when you feel triggered or overwhelmed (movement + regulation)
how to set boundaries without abandoning yourself
the shift from victim → survivor → thriver
why "unmasking" isn't about being rude—it's about being real
If you've ever thought, "I'm exhausted from trying to be acceptable," this conversation will hit home—and leave you with next steps.
Find Lawrence: search "Lawrence C. Harris" on Google (Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, LinkedIn, website).

Today's guest is Carli Fink, a Certified Career Development Practitioner in Canada and the founder of Foreseeable Futures Career Consultancy (Toronto & online). Carli's all about the radical idea that your life can hold many possibilities—no matter your age, identity, or professional background—and she's here to challenge the "one straight path" career story.
In this conversation, we get into what it really looks like to "figure it out" (at 18, 28, 38, 50+—all of it) and why your career is not a one-time decision.
What we cover:
Why "options" aren't the real starting point—self-knowledge is
The truth about regulated vs. non-regulated careers (and why most paths aren't one "right" route)
Why society clings to linear career narratives—security, culture, pressure, and the fear of uncertainty
The post-2020 shift: passion → stability → meaning (and how burnout changes the equation)
How to explore career moves without making everything permanent: prototyping stretch projects at work
upskilling (free/paid learning)
volunteering + personal projects

For autistic folks with uneven strengths: stop chasing job titles—learn to describe your strengths in full sentences, then map where they fit
How to normalize "nonlinear" paths: data, stories, and visibility of real pivots
A practical "stuck" question you can ask yourself today: What's my #1 priority driving this decision?
How to know if you're on the right path: internal signals (energy, values, impact) + external signals (traction)
How long to give a new job before deciding it's not for you: ~6 months to 1 year (depending on the role)
Where to find Carli:
Foreseeable Futures Career Consultancy (Toronto & online): foreseeablefutures.ca
LinkedIn: Carli Fink, CCDP
#AutismAcceptanceMonth #OccupationalTherapyMonth #AdultingWithAutism #CareerCounselling #NeurodivergentCareers #AutisticAdults #CollegeStudents #NonLinearCareer #PortfolioCareer #CareerDevelopment #CareerExploration #UniversalDesign #WorkplaceWellbeing #BurnoutRecovery#Podmatch

Grief is not just about death—and that misunderstanding keeps a lot of people stuck, ashamed, and confused about what they're feeling.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, Kathryn "Katie" Brzozowski, a clinical social worker (DSW) and owner of a group private practice, breaks down what grief can look like in everyday life—especially for neurodivergent people and overwhelmed caregivers. Katie draws from years of medical social work experience (including oncology) to explain how any loss can create grief: a job, a relationship, health changes, even losing hair or a body part.
We also talk about the hidden toll of caregiving—why it's emotionally and physically draining, how depletion builds over time, and why "self-care" isn't a luxury when you're responsible for someone else's needs.
Katie brings in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) to reframe resilience in a realistic way: life is going to keep "life-ing," and a full life includes the full range of emotions—not constant happiness. Instead of getting trapped in "Why did this happen to me?" forever, she encourages a shift toward the how: how you want to live now, what you value, and what support you need next.
This conversation is especially for listeners who feel exhausted, overloaded, stuck in rumination, or afraid to ask for help because they feel like a burden.
In this episode, we cover:
Why our culture is uncomfortable with grief—and why that makes loss lonelier
Grief beyond death: job loss, divorce, health changes, body changes, identity shifts
Sneaky signs of grief people don't expect: forgetfulness / feeling "untethered"
rumination, catastrophizing, "life will never be good again" thoughts

The emotional + physical drain of caregiving (and why depletion makes everything harder)
The psychological load of invisible health challenges (and the pressure to "prove" you're struggling)
Resilience through ACT (Acceptance & Commitment Therapy): happiness isn't the goal 24/7
values-based living even with difficult emotions

What helps when your mind and body are both exhausted: prioritizing
asking/accepting help without shame
noticing how your thoughts about self-care can ruin or restore it

Overthinking + over-functioning + pushing emotions down: why it "works" short-term but costs long-term
Transitions (small and big) and why they activate anxiety—especially with autism/ADHD
Moving from "Why did this happen?" to "How do I move forward?"
A grounded reminder: things change—a lot, and more often than you can predict
Normal stress vs overload: when it's time to talk to someone
"Feeling like a burden": the key difference between being told you're a burden vs assuming you are
why feelings aren't always facts

What compassionate support looks like for autistic adults: support shaped by the person's needs—not control
Find Katie / Speakeasy Counseling:
Website: speakeasycounselingandpsychotherapy.com or speakeasytoday.com
TikTok: Speakeasy Counseling
YouTube: Speakeasy Counseling
Podcast: Long Story Longer (with a psychiatric nurse practitioner)
Location: New Jersey (in-office + online options mentioned)

Self-love isn't manicures, martinis, or "treat yourself" energy. And it's not a vibe. It's a practice.
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, Lulu Essey—speaker, mindset advisor, and executive creative director—breaks down what self-love actually means in real life: the refusal to abandon yourself. Lulu shares from lived experience, not theory: she's navigated severe bipolar disorder for over 30 years while building a high-level career, and she's still working with it daily.
We talk about why so many neurodivergent young adults second-guess themselves after spending years in environments that weren't built for them—and how rebuilding self-trust doesn't happen through a 30-day reset. Lulu teaches a nervous-system-friendly approach: micro moments of safety that compound over time, creating real emotional resilience without relying on performative confidence.
Lulu also shares her experience exploring ketamine treatment after medication changes stopped holding her through a severe downturn—and why self-advocacy is a core part of self-love. She's clear about doing this responsibly: work with your care team, don't make medication changes unsupervised, and research options while keeping your agency.
This is a grounded conversation about finding peace, building stability, and learning how to stay on your own team—even when life is throwing everything at you.
In this episode, we cover:
A real definition of self-love: "returning to self" and refusing to abandon yourself
Self-trust: quiet, grounded knowing—even when others disagree
Why "quick transformation" culture backfires (and what sustainable change looks like instead)
Signs of chronic dysregulation: racing mind, inability to settle, poor sleep, irritability, anxiety, appetite shifts
The micro-moments of safety reset: hand on heart
3 slow breaths (longer exhale than inhale)
feel feet on the ground
orient to the room (name what you can see/smell/touch)

The difference between intuition vs. fear (threat alarm vs. calm grounded clarity)
Performing confidence vs. real confidence (feedback stings—but doesn't collapse your self-worth)
"Regulate your nervous system" as a buzzword—Lulu's reframe: find calm, peace, stability
Small predictable anchors during big change: consistent wake time, making your bed, repeatable routines
The "space between": why change can feel worse before it feels better (unfamiliar ≠ dangerous)
Lulu's ketamine path: years of meds + ECT experience (and memory impact)
researching ketamine for treatment-resistant depression
advocating for herself when things escalated

Bridging science + intuition (and Western + Eastern approaches) through mindfulness and intentional practice
A simple way to "join your own team" this week: replace harsh self-talk with a slightly kinder thought
Find Lulu Essey:
Podcast: The Lulu Essey Podcast
YouTube: Lulu Essey
Instagram + TikTok: Lulu Essey
Website: luluessy.com (as stated)

What if the reason sex feels confusing, overwhelming, or shame-loaded isn't because you're "too much"… but because you were never taught how to be honest about what you want—especially with a neurodivergent nervous system?
In this episode of Adulting With Autism, Jocelyn Silva—sexual empowerment coach and sex educator—talks about healing sexual shame, building real intimacy, and learning what she calls relentless authenticity: telling the truth (even when it's uncomfortable) so your relationships can actually feel safe.
Jocelyn shares her own story: growing up deeply religious and carrying heavy sexual shame, then swinging hard in the opposite direction after leaving the church—reckless choices, dishonest patterns, and ultimately being caught in infidelity at 27. She describes that moment as a rock bottom that led her into Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA), back into spirituality, and into a new framework: you can be sexually free and ethical—because intimacy doesn't work without integrity.
For autistic and ADHD listeners who've spent years masking—saying "yes" when you mean "no," people-pleasing to keep attachment, and feeling "high maintenance" for sensory needs—this conversation gives language and tools you can actually use. From "universal feeling words" and I-statements, to journaling, to somatic reconnection practices, Jocelyn makes it practical without pretending it's painless.
In this episode, we cover:
Sexual shame: how it forms (religion, culture, messaging) and how it shows up in adult relationships
The pendulum swing: why freedom without a framework can turn into self-abandonment
Infidelity as rupture—and how recovery can become a "living amends"
Neurodivergent intimacy: why honesty can be a strength (and also feel risky)
Attachment vs. authenticity (Gabor Maté): how masking starts in childhood and follows you into adulthood
How to separate what you want vs. what you were taught you should want ("Speak Your Desires" exercise)
What "relentless authenticity" looks like in real relationships: emotional regulation, emotional safety, distress tolerance
Communication tools that reduce blow-ups: Use language people can actually understand (not vague phrases)
I feel ___ when you ___ because ___

The "7 days of no lying" challenge (and a 24-hour repair rule if you slip)
Sensory needs without shame: there's no "universal" sex—needs are not burdens
First gentle reconnection step when you feel disconnected from your body: get naked, close your eyes, and slowly touch your body from toes up
How to tell the difference between "I don't want this" vs. "I want it but I'm scared/overwhelmed"
First step for self-betrayal patterns: journal it—tell yourself the truth first
Find Jocelyn Silva:
Website: jocelynsilva.com
Instagram: @iamjocelynsilva