Soft Skills Engineering

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:


My parent organization has trust issues: we registered on a recent survey as one of the lowest across the bigger software org (thousands of employees).

There are two groups: functional, trustworthy people who get stuff done, and people who are behind, stuck, or just not working. Those struggling say they need better emotional support, but there is consistent, documented evidence that they cannot keep up.

I’m perpetually frustrated that there are only two or three people in an org of 30 who can effectively complete tasks and manage the insane workload. I am biased: those in whom I have no trust have repeatedly demonstrated that they cannot be trusted. I believe that the organization would be able to go faster without them.

Whats the right answer here? Should I start my own company to abandon this mess? Do we cut scope super aggressively to allow underperformers to be reasonable contributors?

One example: one of these contributors was walked through the process, given written documentation of the process, verbally confirmed an understanding of the process, and committed to starting that day. And then two days later identified they hadn’t started for those two days because they were blocked by something that was explicitly captured in the document and discussed in the recorded meeting. They do not raise this until they were asked for their progress multiple days beyond the critical start date.




Hi Dave and Jamison,

First, thank you for the podcast. As someone on the spectrum, it really helps me analyze social situations I struggle with.

My question: I work at a software company where management is pushing the use of LLMs for coding, and my team recently started using Spec-Driven Development. SDD often requires strong upfront planning, which has quietly split my small team between developers who plan well and those who get lost in “vibe-coding” loops.

One of those people is a close coworker I consider a friend (we hang out after work and have honest chats about everything). He’s not strong at planning, so I end up explaining each ticket to him in detail. But he’s really great in other ways: communicative, asks a lot of questions in refinement sessions that set a good example for others, does thorough handoffs with the QA team, always responsive in chat, always trying to help. He’s also one of the rare people who actually pay attention to alerts.

Since we started using SDD, the gap in our speed and output quality has become very visible. One of our tech directors noticed and asked me to teach him planning. We spent several days drawing schemas and working through small features together, and it was clearly painful for him. The TD also had his own sessions with him, but eventually gave up because my friend seemed so discouraged, and the TD decided to “stop the torture” and leave him alone. The hard part is that after all these teaching sessions, he actually seems even slower than before and also more discouraged and down.

Since then, our friendship has changed. He stopped talking to me outside work, and I think he now feels jealous or bothered by the difference in our performance. I’m okay with continuing to explain tickets and outlining detailed execution plans for him, but I worry that I’m keeping him in his comfort zone and not really helping his career. And I also miss how things used to be between us 💔

What should I do?

P.S. I’m not an LLM fan or enthusiast, I take a practical approach to using them. But I hate how they’re taking jobs away from devs who really love coding but are weak at planning or not interested in it. It doesn’t feel fair.

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:


How long until I am ethically obligated to let my company know I’m doing no work? There was a big re-org at the company I recently joined. It’s a huge financial company, so there’s a lot of bureaucracy. Somehow in this mess I was kicked off the first team I joined so that I was pending re-assignment. It’s been a month and I haven’t been re-assigned. Instead of being in between jobs not working, I am currently in between teams, but still getting paid! This feels unintentional on the part of the company as no one has followed up with me. I’ve been happily using the time to catch up on hobbies, but I’m starting to get concerned about what will happen when the other shoe drops. At what point do I start to venture into irreversible reputational harm? For some added context, teams at this company are about 6 people and the manager handles several teams, so I’ve never talked to my manager since I joined. I got the message about the re-org from a screenshot of an email that my scrum master shared in my last stand-up.




AI changes how software is build. Actual coding is mostly done by LLMs now (I hate it, but it is what it is). What do you think should I focus on learning now to not become obsolete in 1-2 years? I am a senior dev with 13yoe, and loved coding, but now I find it hard what my role will be in the next years (still have 30+ before retirement). I do not want to go to the EM track, at least not in the near future. So is it more architecture knowledge, security, AI internals, …? What do you think?

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:


Should I declare my struggle with this AI world we live in here? Nah. I mean, I’d like the hype to die down, a lot, but we keep getting new tools and I get to experiment, so here we are.

My real struggle, and this podcast is implicated in it, is around non-technical people contributing to production systems. Why are we so obsessed with this idea?

COBOL tried it. Low-code and no-code tried it. BDD and Gherkin aspire to it. Yet time and again the field demonstrates that you need people who know their stuff.

To “democratize” software engineering implies that all people have the desire and ability to become software engineers. That premise is false. You democratize access to education or financial systems, the stock market say. You don’t democratize skill. Skills are earned. We would never, I hope, democratize bridge engineering or piloting an aircraft. Software engineers are just as critical as either. When our software breaks, money goes missing, electrical grids fail, information stops flowing.

What I do think is great: now more than ever, as long as tokens stay cheap, people have more ability to build useful tools for themselves. But here is how I think about it. We have done tremendous work on literacy, and most people can read, but not everyone is an author. The same applies to code.




anon e mouse asks,

Should I share my tools?

I keep building small local software tools to better test and debug the application I’m working on. The problem is that whenever I go “above and beyond” the assigned and expected work and try and responsible check it into version control and share it with the rest of the team, it gets bogged down in code reviews because it doesn’t meet the team lead’s vision because it wasn’t part of the vision! Once I go through that process though, it’s mostly appreciated, but the team lead is under a lot of business pressure and often mentions that we need to focus.

Maybe I’m not focused enough, but many of these little tools are things that making verification and delivery much smoother! Like local testing utilities to verify and sample api endpoints that otherwise could only be called after prod deployments due to a lack of test data. Our partners like when we’re able to show the output before deployment, and the rest of the team usually struggles with that.

I feel a pressure to hide my tools, but then I feel sloppy for having a bunch of useful tools outside of version control. These are things like formatting output, running experiments, testing data for variations. Am I unfocused or just bad at articulating the value of these tools?

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:


I’m approaching 15 years of experience with the last 7 years at fang. About a year ago I was promoted to staff engineer (thanks to the podcast) and switched to an adjacent team under the same director. I have never actively pursued a management role but I’ve been starting to think about it more.

A colleague of mine just announced they need to take extended medical leave (1-2 months) and I was asked to fill in as a temporary manager while they are out. How do I go about managing a team if everyone knows it’s short lived? Should I just try to keep the team alive or aim higher? Is 1-2 months enough for me to get a sense of whether I’d enjoy management? I feel like I’ve dived into the deep end and it’s scary but also exciting.

I love the podcast, I’ve listened to every episode! I’ll take whatever comedy or advice you have to offer.




Bobby Drop Tables asks,

Recently came out of a salary negotiation where HR blocked a payrise because they said I was already the highest paid non-management position dev. While I’m getting paid well for the market, I wouldn’t say it’s a ridiculous amount. HR said they wanted a fairly flat salary range across the organisation, with pay differences being dealt with via performance bonuses.

On paper this sounds good for most departments (sales, engineering etc), but I’m really struggling to figure out what metrics management could use to assess the software team. It feels like any metric that could be dreamt up could/would be gamed and would likely have negative consequences.

Have you ever come across any decent metrics or methods for assessing software performance when it comes to performance bonuses? Especially when the team lead might not have a say in who gets what or how much?

In this episode, Dave and Jamison answer these questions:


I work at a large remote company. We meet up once or twice a year. I don’t really know much about my engineering coworkers aside from the 5 people on my team, so the in person meet ups seem like a good place for me to get to know people from the other teams.

I am a career switcher, and am currently a mid level IC (borderline junior) in my late 30s and a youthful appearance. At these meetups, my position and appearance (and honestly, possibly my demeanour) makes me feel like I am expected to socialize with other ICs in their 20s. Although they are nice people I find it hard to relate to them when talking about non work related topics since I am much older and in a different stage in life than all of them, (married with a mortgage and kids).

I want to socialize with coworkers closer to my age and stage in life but most of them are team leads or manager. I feel like socializizing with them would be seen as brown nosing. I’ve also heard that once someone is a manager, it is very hard for them to befriend ICs because they are now their boss, and that they mostly befriend other managers. My previous career had little management/corporate politics type stuff, so I don’t know if this is true. Would I be hurting myself by doing this?

Am I over thinking this? Would I be fine socializing with whomever I want? Do you have any words or advice regarding my situation? Thanks!




Hi Dave and Jamison,

Before you tell me to quit my job, hear me out. I have worked in technology for about 30 years. I’ve been at the same company for the past 20 years, but I’ve changed roles many times to keep work interesting. I have enjoyed learning new technologies while working in development, architecture, system administration, management, vendor relations, and more. This has been very beneficial to my career, and I appreciate all the opportunities to grow. I’ve earned a good reputation and am well respected by my peers. I’ve proven my worth to leadership many times over by reducing expenses by many millions and creating innovative solutions to improve efficiencies. I work for corporate America in the insurance/finance industry, which is generally considered to be led by cold, heartless, power-hungry mongers, a stereotype that probably has a few exceptions but is generally not incorrect. I’ve never appreciated this industry’s business practices, but I’ve had to make a living over the years, so here I am.

I am finally at my breaking point and am absolutely fed up with how employees, customers, and communities are treated by my industry. Because of this, I just cannot find value in my work. I’ve been beaten down over the years and am tired of being exploited by management. I no longer volunteer to take on big projects, and instead of being someone who outshines others, I have decided to settle for mediocrity. I’m planning to retire in a few years and honestly don’t have the energy or desire to search for another, potentially more meaningful, industry to work in, especially in the current job market.

I genuinely care about many of the people I work with. Very few of them are in it to climb the corporate ladder. Most are just trying to earn enough money to pay the mortgage, feed their children, care for aging parents, and hope to have enough leftover for their own retirement.

How do I not leave a wake of malaise for my peers when I leave but also not help feed the beast until then?