Therapist Uncensored Podcast

What does self-worth really look like when we stop trying to be perfectly secure?

Dr. Ann Kelley talks with psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Marisa G. Franco about her new book, Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. Dr. Franco challenges the idea that healing means becoming perfectly “secure,” arguing instead for becoming “secure-ish”—learning to acknowledge insecurity, shame, vulnerability, and other difficult emotions without judging or rejecting those parts of ourselves. She explores the difference between self-esteem and true self-worth, why some people struggle to receive love or positive feedback, and how our deeply held stories about ourselves can shape the relationships and experiences we seek out. The conversation also navigates into the science of memory and memory reconsolidation, including how past experiences can continue to influence our emotions and reactions even when we don’t consciously remember them.

“Being a steward of self-worth for self and for others is about allowing people to make mistakes and be imperfect.” – Dr. Marisa G. Franco

Time Stamps for Secure-ish: Rethinking Self-Worth & Attachment with Dr. Marisa G. Franco (312)

01:57 Why friendship matters more than we think

04:01 The problem with attachment styles as status symbols

08:00 Memory as the database of self-perception

13:58 The role of implicit and explicit memory

25:59 The role of body sensations in healing

31:59 Overcoming self-criticism and building resilience

36:07 The Science of Memory and Emotional Triggers

40:02 Addressing detachment and dissociation

47:57 Practical tools for lasting change

49:55 The Future of Self-Worth and Emotional Freedom

About our Guest – Dr. Marisa G. Franco

An enlightening psychologist, international speaker, and New York Times bestselling author, Dr. Marisa G Franco is known for digesting and communicating science in ways that resonate deeply enough with people to change their lives. She works as a professor at The University of Maryland and authored the New York Times bestseller Platonic: How The Science of Attachment Can Help You Make—and Keep—Friends and Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment. She writes about friendship for Psychology Today and has been a featured connection expert for major publications like The New York Times, The Telegraph, and Vice. She speaks on belonging and self-worth at corporations, government agencies, non-profits, and universities. For tips on friendship, you can follow her on Instagram (DrMarisaGFranco), or go to her website, www.DrMarisaGFranco.com, where you can take a quiz to assess your strengths and weaknesses as a friend & reach out for speaking engagements. Dr. Marisa G. Franco professor, speaker, and author of Platonic and the forthcoming Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment.  

Resources for Secure-ish: Rethinking Self-Worth & Attachment with Dr. Marisa G. Franco (312)

Worth: The New Science of Self-Esteem and Secure Attachment – Marisa’s book, get your copy!

Dr. Franco’s LinkedIn – Profile

@DrMarisaGFranco – Instagram profile

Newsletter – Subscribe to receives yours

Website – Information, speaking engagements and more

Please support our sponsors – they keep our podcast free and accessible to all! 

SimplePractice is an all-in-one EHR that is HIPPA compliant, HITRUST certified and built specifically for therapists.

If you are ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com to claim the offer.

Beyond Attachment Styles –

Deepening Security in Yourself and Fostering More Secure Relationships

Course available NOW!

Everyone’s heard of attachment styles – but you likely don’t know how much the popular press gets wrong and what the science actually says about how to improve your relationships long term (including how we relate to ourselves).  This course is for anyone wanting to more deeply understand attachment (styles vs patterns), unconscious defense activation patterns, implicit scripts… and most importantly, what to do once you do get activated!  Online, Self-Paced, Asynchronous Learning with Quarterly Live Q&A’s! Earn 6 Continuing Education Credits – Available at Checkout.

Ready to dive deeper into Secure Relating? Grab the book or explore the course, and use code BAS15 for a limited-time listener discount.

Or read Marriott & Kelley’s critically-acclaimed book, Secure Relating: Holding Your Own in an Insecure World (HarperCollins,2023) for the most in-depth experience of learning about Secure Relating.

Therapists love it, but it’s accessible to everyone.  If you aren’t interested in the background science, just start at Part 2 and we will be talking directly to you – it’s fun!

Attention self-proclaimed Neuronerds!🚨

If you refer others to the pod, use it in your professional life or just love this stuff – you’re in the right place!

Your fellow Neuronerds are waiting – Join our exclusive community to get exclusive bonus content, early access to training opportunities, and an ad-free, private podcast feed. It’s this warm community that allows us to donate half of all corporate profits to mental health access for marginalized peoples.

Sign up for our premium Neuronerd plan!! Click here!!

Explore expanded states of consciousness with Patty Nagle's insights on breathwork and psychedelics for personal transformation.

Learn how attachment healing can improve your relationships and foster deeper connections within your community and beyond.

Discover how DBT can cultivate joy and self-acceptance, addressing the effects of chronic invalidation on queer identities.

Delve into Mentalization-Based Treatment to support those with Borderline Narcissistic traits and strengthen emotional intelligence.