Modern Love

Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a polyamory expert. When she first heard about polyamorous relationships, back in the early ’90s, hardly anyone was talking about this stuff. But Sheff became fascinated, and for the past 30 years, she’s been studying the lives of kids who grew up in polyamorous families. 

On this episode of “Modern Love,” Sheff tells the host Anna Martin about her personal and professional findings from decades of being immersed in polyamorous spaces. Plus, she has advice for people who are trying to figure out if being poly is right for them. 

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At the age of 15, the filmmaker and actor Kyla Harris had an accident that forever changed what her body could do, and what it couldn’t. From then on, she needed someone with her 24 hours a day to help her with things like going to the bathroom, cooking and showering. 

Family members, friends, romantic partners and personal assistants have all played a role in Kyla’s care over the years. She’s had to learn to communicate, in exceptionally clear terms, how her body feels and what it needs, at any hour of the day or night. 

Kyla is a creator and the star of the BBC TV show “We Might Regret This,” and her character, Freya, has the same disability that Kyla does. While the show depicts a fictional world, its complex web of remarkably close, interdependent relationships is, in part, inspired by Kyla’s life.

In this episode of “Modern Love,” Kyla tells Anna Martin what it’s been like to approach every want and need as a group project. This dynamic becomes especially interesting when it comes to Kyla’s thriving sex life, from dance-floor makeouts to long-term partnerships. Kyla discusses getting creative with her body — and the occasional prop —  and takes a deep dive into what intimacy can really mean.

 

How to submit a Modern Love Essay
How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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This week on "Modern Love," we're bringing you one of our favorite conversations from our friends at "The Interview." Speaking to host Lulu Garcia-Navarro, the comedian and actor Robby Hoffman says class and the way she grew up inform everything about the way she lives now.

• Thoughts? Email us at theinterview@nytimes.com

• Watch our show on YouTube: youtube.com/@TheInterviewPodcast

• For transcripts and more, visit: nytimes.com/theinterview

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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In 2019, Susie Shaw’s 9-year-old son, William, died in a skiing accident. We talk about grief a lot on this show, but a parent grieving the death of a child is a loss so profound, words don’t feel adequate. It’s hard to know what to say to someone facing this kind of tragedy.

Susie Shaw says: Ask me a question. Ask me about my dead son.

On this episode of “Modern Love” Susie tells its host, Anna Martin, about loving and losing William — and shares advice for how to show up for other bereaved parents with compassion.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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When the chef, writer and filmmaker Eddie Huang joined the “Modern Love” podcast to discuss his new novel, “Come Undone,” our host Anna Martin asked him to start by reading a few lines from his 2017 guest essay for The New York Times. In it, Huang called out stereotypical portrayals of Asian men that have persisted in pop culture: “Every Asian American man knows what the dominant culture has to say about us,” Huang read. “We count good, we bow well … our male anatomy is the size of a thumb drive and we could never in a thousand millenniums be a threat to steal your girl.” 

Rereading his old piece took Huang right back to his childhood, to when he was targeted by kids who assumed he was an easy mark. Huang said he created a tough exterior in response, becoming someone whom no one wanted to pick a fight with. That tough kid grew up into a tough man who rarely let his sensitive inner self show, a persona that sounds a lot like the main character of Huang’s new book. 

In this episode, Huang explains how he is both similar to and different from his fictional character, how his own ideas of masculinity have changed and what it was like to finally let himself be vulnerable with someone after years of pretending not to be.

How to submit a Modern Love Essay

How to submit a Tiny Love Story

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

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