What Fresh Hell: Parenting, Relationships, and Making Life Better, with Two Funny Moms

What if the proven decline in the mental health of today's adolescents isn't just about phones and screen time? What if academic pressure and "achievement culture" is the real driver of the increase in anxiety and depression today's teens are experiencing?

Dr. Stuart Slavin, pediatrician and author of THE SUCCESS TRAP, explains just how widespread academic pressure and "achievement culture" in the United States has become— not just in fancy schools on the coasts, and not just in high school, either.

Amy and Dr. Slavin discuss:

the average teen's default state of sleep deprivation, caused by hours of homework per night (work that may not even do much to change outcomes)

the top stressors today's teens report—and why "peer pressure" doesn't even make the top ten

how smartphones feed maladaptive perfectionism and achievement culture

how schools that reduce demands on kids are also seeing improved test scores and academic performance

how parents can create "low-pressure zones" at home

how to advocate for healthier expectations at your kids' schools—and why you shouldn't fight that battle on your own

Here's where you can find Dr. Slavin:

https://drstuartslavin.com

Buy THE SUCCESS TRAP: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9780593839386

@drstuartslavin on IG

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
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When is it useful for our kids to hear about our own life experiences—including situations caused by our own bad decision-making?

When does it become oversharing, or get too personal or inappropriate?

We discuss how to know how much to tell our kids, and how to have useful difficult conversations, including:

our own past choices around drinking, drugs, and sexual activity

the family secrets that may be part of our history

traumatic and difficult experiences: how do you get across what's important without giving a child information too heavy for them to hold?

divorce and family conflict: how not to recruit kids into taking sides of adult disagreements

serious illness of a parent, grandparent, or another loved one

Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in the episode:

Our Fresh Take with Dr. Mary Martin

Lori Michas for Grown and Flown: How Much of Your Past Should You Share With Your Teen?

iMom Blog: How Much of Your Past Should You Share With Your Kids?

Lynne Meredith Golodner for MetroParent: Should Parents Tell Kids About Their Past?

Claire McCarthy for Harvard Medical School Blog: How to talk to children about the serious illness of a loved one

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This "Deep Dive" series revisits a few of our past episodes on back-to-school challenges such as the morning rush, school projects which require lots of parental oversight, and how to help our kids navigate intensifying academic pressure.

Linda Flanagan is a journalist, researcher, and a former cross-country and track coach. She's also a founding board member of the Positive Coaching Alliance and an Advisory Group member for the Aspen Institute’s Reimagining Sports initiative. Flanagan's book is ⁠TAKE BACK THE GAME: How Money and Mania Are Ruining Kids' Sports--and Why It Matters⁠. Linda tells Amy and Margaret what forces conspired to make the youth sports landscape the way it is today.

In this episode, Linda, Amy, and Margaret discuss:

How the purpose of kids' sports has changed since we were playing ourselves [7:00]

Why we assume sports build character, and whether that's true [14:30]

How recruitment for college sports affects both kids' and parents' perspectives [22:15]

Here's where you can find Linda:

⁠Buy Linda's book⁠

@lindaflanagan2 on Twitter

⁠Mindshift Podcast on NPR⁠

Read Linda's article in The Atlantic: ⁠"The Downsides of Having an Athlete in the Family"⁠

Our previous episode on kids' sports: "⁠Youth Sports: If You Must⁠"

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

What does it really mean to become an active participant in the care of your own health? In this episode, Margaret talks with primary care physician Dr. Lucy McBride about her new book, Beyond the Prescription: A Doctor’s Guide to Taking Charge of Your Health. They discuss how to become a more self-aware and empowered patient, as well as:

The difference between medicine and "wellness"

Why data is less useful without full context

How stress and grief can affect physical health

The four parts of whole-person health: informatics, inputs, infrastructure, and insight

Why health decisions involve trade-offs

The importance of understanding your own “patient personality”

How to ask better questions at medical appointments

How to make shared decision-making part of your healthcare

Why quality of life matters alongside longevity

Here's where you can find Dr. McBride:

https://www.lucymcbride.com/

https://lucymcbride.substack.com/

@dr.lucymcbride on IG and LinkedIn

Buy BEYOND THE PRESCRIPTION: https://bookshop.org/a/12099/9781668024386

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Feeling overwhelmed by everything that needs to get done? If you're the person who keeps track of the appointments, school forms, groceries, household repairs, gifts, kids' activities, and all the little things that seem to live permanently in your head, you may not need to get better at managing your workload—you may need to outsource some of it.

We tackle a listener question about how to outsource the household workload without having pockets deep enough for full-time help. We talk about why outsourcing can actually feel like more work at first, how to decide what to hand over, and how to get other people to truly take responsibility instead of simply giving you another task to manage.

Here are some topics we discuss:

Why the mental load is usually a systems problem

Glass balls vs rubber balls, and how to tell the difference

Why part-time help is a great way to outsource

why making your own life easier is a legitimate use of your resources

Here are links to some of the resources discussed in the episode:

Zawn Villines on Substack: Why the 'Fair Play' book doesn't fix labor inequality for most couples

Zawn Villines on Substack: Results of the State of Household Inequality Survey Show How Damaging Heterosexual Relationships Are to Women

Sarah Aswell for Scary Mommy: A Woman Is Going Viral For Timing How Long Unpleasant Tasks Actually Take

Christi Newrutzen on TikTok

Our Fresh Take with Eve Rodsky

What Fresh Hell is co-hosted by Amy Wilson and Margaret Ables.

We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website:

⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices