A Bit Fruity with Matt Bernstein

Lindsey Graham died doing what he loved: fanning the flames of war and hiring queer sex workers while legislating against their basic human rights. What is there to say of an evil gay man who dies in the closet? Lindsey wasn’t the first, and likely won’t be the last. Today, Moira Donegan (of In Bed With The Right) and I perform a psychosexual autopsy on some of America’s worst gays. Good riddance.

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Kylie Jenner is selling Meta Glasses that record people without their knowledge. Timothée Chalamet is selling Kalshi gambling addictions to teenage boys. Do a billion-dollar beauty mogul and the most bankable movie star of a generation really have to debase themselves like this? This week, Kat Tenbarge, Ed Ongweso Jr. and I waltz through the recent business exploits of Hollywood’s busiest couple. Therein lies stories of mass surveillance, legally dubious and politically corrupt virtual casinos, and good ole American greed.

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Caught on camera fleeing the NBA Finals for his $40 million Hamptons home, Jerry Seinfeld declared: “Palestine doesn’t exist.” It’s hard to imagine someone with a larger repository of goodwill and adoration than the 90s television legend, yet Jerry remains steadfast on his mission to destroy it all. This week, comedy connoisseur Emma Vigeland and I investigate Seinfeld’s growing animosity for the changing world around him. And for adult women.

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Mel Robbins wants to Let You give her your money. The lawyer-turned-self-help guru has made an unfathomable fortune through books, speeches, and most recently, protein smoothies. Mel’s core message to her millions of fans is simple: the only thing standing in your way is you. But as the systems that govern us continue to stratify people across seemingly unmovable barriers of wealth and power, Mel’s advice feels at odds with reality. Additionally, Mel’s insatiable quest for building personal wealth requires us to ask brave questions: Can AI be girlboss? Can pyramid schemes be empowering? Perhaps, if we let them.

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It’s time to dive into one of Canada’s worst exports. Kevin O’Leary a.k.a. “Mr. Wonderful” gained household recognition by performing as a mean venture capitalist on TV. As it turns out, the meanness might be the only honest aspect of his character. Today, Emma and I excavate Kevin’s personal and professional history to reveal a nesting doll of capitalist grifter hell. Grab your $28 avocado toast and strap in.

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