Siblings Charlie* and Oscar* were always close growing up. But as they got older, there was one thing that they didn't talk together about: the way they eat.
Both Charlie and Oscar struggle with different types of eating disorders — Charlie has struggled with bulimia, and Oscar has anorexia. Despite their closeness and years-long suspicions about each other's eating habits, it's taken a long time to open up about their difficulties with food to each other. When they finally had their first real conversation about it last summer, Charlie said it "felt like I was coming out."
"This was finally like pointing a finger at it," Oscar responded. "And saying, 'This is a thing that exists.'"
Are you or someone you know struggling with an eating disorder? We've compiled resources .
When Work Changes, So Do We
Right after returning from six months of maternity leave, I sat down in the studio with Uma Kondabolu. Uma's been on the show before with her comedian son Hari, but this time I wanted to talk with her one-on-one about big transitions in our work lives. Uma recently retired from the hospital lab where she worked for almost three decades, and as I was re-entering my job, I wanted to hear from her about leaving hers.
Tayari Jones & Carrie Mae Weems: What's It Like Up There?
Carrie Mae Weems always knew she was going to be an artist, but she didn't know she wanted to be a photographer until she got her first camera in her late teens. It was a gift from a boyfriend who turned out to be "manipulative," but it launched her into a career that's made her a MacArthur Fellow and the first black woman to have a retrospective at the Guggenheim Museum.
As she tells this week's guest host, author Tayari Jones, her professional drive has always been the barometer against which she's measured her personal relationships. "If I'm entering a relationship [and] struggling around notions of my ability to work, then it's not a relationship that I can stay in," she says. "I already see the handwriting is on the wall." Together, they talk about balancing that ambition with the relationships in their lives that matter. Plus, Carrie explains why she drank someone else's champagne on her wedding day.
This episode is part of Death, Sex & Money's 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup. Tayari Jones to talk about the freedoms of singlehood, and the call from Oprah that changed everything for her.
Sarah Smarsh & Nick Smarsh: Are You Different Than Me?
As a journalist and author, Sarah Smarsh has built her career around examining socioeconomic class. In 2018, her book Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard and Being Broke in the Richest Country on Earth became a New York Times bestseller and was a finalist for the 2018 National Book Award.
Sarah grew up outside of Wichita, Kansas, and spent much of her childhood on her family's farm. The Farm Crisis during the 1980s led to her family leaving farming behind, and her dad, Nick, had to find work elsewhere —f irst, he worked locally on construction crews; now, he puts up buildings for fast food chains in far-flung places like Mississippi and Texas.
In this audio essay, Sarah interviews her dad about the changes he's endured throughout his lifetime, and about how, at 63, he thinks about his future as someone who builds things with his hands.
This episode is part of Death, Sex & Money's 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup.
Mahershala Ali & Rafael Casal: Envy Is A Hell Of A Drug
Today, Mahershala Ali is an Oscar-winning actor who lands leading roles in TV shows like True Detective and Hollywood blockbusters like Green Book . But he got his start as a poet-turned-rapper in the Bay Area, where he grew up.
Rafael Casal is another Bay Area poet and musician who recently made his big screen debut in the movie Blindspotting, which he co-wrote and co-starred in with his creative partner, Daveed Diggs. "We put a movie out and everyone back home thinks I'm on," Rafael says. "And I'm like, that was an indie movie. I lost money."
Mahershala interviews Rafael about his childhood as a "knucklehead," his life-changing discovery of slam poetry when he was a teenager, and how he and Daveed handle uncomfortable discussions about money and creative credit.
This episode is part of Death, Sex & Money's 2019 Maternity Leave Lineup. Mahershala Ali first joined us on Death, Sex & Money in 2016, along with his wife, Amatus. about faith, love and success, taped live in Brooklyn.